Spent the better part of the morning in bed with a long to-do list, then started talking on the phone with Mom about our upcoming Vegas trip. I love her, but I hate talking on the phone with anyone, so when it’s mindless mumbles about what she’s looking at on her computer it drives me insane. I lose my temper, which then makes me mad at myself. Later we talked about money and obviously that’s always a touchy subject. That conversation resulted in a fight as well.

I’m fucked for work. I have no employable skills and I cannot get a job. I walked to the gym and before I even started running I got an email from LightWorks telling me I didn’t get the job I interviewed for. Fucking perfect. Thankfully, the exercise helped me clear my mind. I’m not devastated by it, but the work really would have been nice. Now it’s “back to start” in my never-ending game of Trouble. Motherfucker!

Walked all the way to the University of Toronto library only to find out alumni don’t get to use the Wi-Fi, so there goes my New Year’s plan of writing a book at Robarts. Dragged my feet home, ate dinner, and came up with a plan to get my life on track. Sort of.

I need a job. And what’s pushing me is the fact that a job will give me money to see Logan. We don’t talk much, but it is what it is. I deleted Facebook for a bit, too. I need to focus, and I have to stay positive. Things will happen if I work hard. Took a bath and went to bed.

Goodnight xo