There was a huge Pride event happening across the street from my apartment early this evening. I worked 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., so I could get home a little earlier than usual.

Not much work got done today. Naturally, I had stuff piled on my desk 15 minutes before I had to leave, but I powered through it and still managed to leave the office on time. Otherwise, today’s shift featured a half-hour walk to the bank, an extended lunch, the installation of another Apple TV, and a few email responses.

There seems to be a lot of animosity between all of the employees at The Clubhouse. Someone is always talking smack with a co-worker in a corner. And if it’s not in a corner, it’s in one of the closets that we are expected to call offices. It’s weird. The cattiness certainly doesn’t contribute to a healthy work environment, either.

I left work in such a good mood, super excited about tonight’s Pride event. After all, it was free! The plan was to have some drinks beforehand at Connor’s place. However, once I confirmed my attendance, it didn’t make sense to drink at Connor’s when my apartment was literally across the street from the party. I invited the remaining three members of The 4 Single Girls to the Witch Cave instead.

I got home, changed, and the boys came over one by one. This included Dan, Connor, and Evan. I had previously mentioned the recent Evan situation to Connor in an attempt to smooth things over, as the two of them are quite close with one another. Connor assured me that he had talked to Evan, and had told him to calm down. Thank God. There were not going to be any issues about that “thing” tonight.

I was drinking quite a bit at the Witch Cave tonight. I smoked, too. The four of us had a really great pre-drink, actually. For once, everyone was in a really good mood. Dan and I even climbed up to the roof for a hot minute.

After maybe an hour, we decided that it was time to walk to the party across the street. I was okay at this point, but I was most definitely toying with disaster. My sobriety was hanging on by a very cheap thread.

The party was extremely busy. I’m talking nut-to-butt with every gay man in the Greater Toronto Area, all crammed into a small park that operates as a major event space every Pride season. Maybe an hour or less into the outdoor festivities, I jokingly mentioned to Evan that that the party was so busy, I was going to need a Xanax. Then, it hit me.

Why not?

With this brilliant idea now stuck in my head, I left the party. I crossed the street, grabbed two Xanax pills from the Witch Cave, and snuck right back into the party through the exit. I took a whole pill, and Evan and Dan split the second. This ship was going down.

I was fine for most of the party. Although, I’ll admit that I’m writing this journal entry the day after, and I’m unable to describe most of what I did at the event. I barely remember leaving.

I was flirting with anyone and everyone, but had focused most of my time on the promotional drink booth workers. My efforts weren’t in vain, either. I must have had, like, six shots of Jack Daniel’s for free. I also told another bartender that my boyfriend just broke up with me, and she topped up me and Dan’s drinks with an extra pour of vodka. Amazing.

So, yeah. I don’t remember leaving the event. However, I do recall that The 4 Single Girls all went back to my place to drink, smoke, and regroup afterwards. I made the boys grilled cheese sandwiches, and that’s about where I completely blacked out. My brain simply shut down. I don’t remember anything after that, and it was only 9 p.m.

Goodnight xo

July 1 →