March 21
Today’s main event was a quickie road trip to Niagara Falls, New York for a package pick-up. Hmm. That sounds a little ridiculous now that I’ve put it into writing. Oh, well.
In what I truly believe to be a genius move, I had a six-foot tall Mariah Carey cardboard cutout custom-made, for what will eventually be a promotional photo op at MOMENTS. Think of the social media posts! It’s a completely brilliant plan! The only downside was that I could only ship Mimi to a US address – hence today’s adventure.
I woke up really early this morning, as I wanted to get a gym session in before going to Niagara. Mission accomplished. I felt like crap the whole time, though. Mentally. After sending that unacknowledged message to Logan last night, I still hadn’t received a response. When that happens, it’s like a dark cloud of rejection lingers over me all day.
My phone eventually buzzed. Logan sent me a text, we talked for a quick moment, and then it was over. Typical. Before getting that message, I spent all of my time delivering an angry monologue inside my head. Thinking about what I wanted to say to Logan. How I wanted so badly to express my hurt over how I feel played and abandoned. Naturally, when Logan messaged me as if everything were fine, I simply proceeded to play it cool like a weak little bitch. Why? Because the hopelessly insecure side of me keeps saying that if I’m nice and keep trying, Logan will change. But, he won’t.
The “being nice” mentality is an interesting note, though. I always want to be the nice one in a break-up. Or, at least try to be. If things don’t work out with the guy, fine. It is what it is. However, somewhere down the road, that person will wake the fuck up and realize what an asshole they were. When that moment of enlightenment occurs, they won’t have any ammunition against me, because I’ll have handled things with respect. That being said, being nice doesn’t make me want to punch Logan in the face any less.
I finished my routine at the gym, and then met up with Justin LeBlanc. We were casually talking the other day, and I had mentioned that I was going to Niagara Falls and asked if he wanted to join. Justin wasn’t working today, so he came along for the drive.
It always seems to be such a random encounter with Justin, but I was happy he made the trip with me this afternoon. I’m not really interested in Justin sexually or romantically. I mean, I’m not against it. But, I’m certainly not actively pursuing anything. It’s just nice to have a new gay friend with similar interests. Someone who I can talk to about a lot of different things. Better still, I feel like I learn a lot from Justin. He’s quite smart. I was very surprised when told me was 20. I wish I was that mature at 20-years-old.
Justin’s age showed when we crossed the border, though. Literally. He fucked up and accidentally brought his expired, childhood passport with him. Oy. For whatever reason, the border agents let us cross both ways without question. A lucky break, indeed.
The trip to Niagara Falls was a short one. We crossed the bridge, picked up the Mariah cutout, went to Target, hit up Walmart, had a spontaneous lunch at Olive Garden, and then turned around and drove back to Toronto. I dropped Justin off at his apartment, did a few errands with the car, and then finally returned to the Witch Cave.
I texted Logan a picture of me with the Mariah Carey cutout when I got home. I think he liked it. I’m not sure. His response was a one-word message.
Logan: “Correct.”
Uh, alrighty then. That happened. Moving on.
Tonight, I had plans to meet up with Bryan at the Gladstone Hotel for a RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing party. Before that happened, I had a meeting with Mason – the Gladstone Hotel’s event coordinator – to talk about all things MOMENTS. We did a final tour of the event space, went over my plan of attack for the party, and also covered what’s going to happen with Hellacious’s visit and performance. All of that is still happening, by the way. Hellacious flies in on Friday evening, and we’re just going to hope for the best as she crosses through customs at the airport. I also managed to arrange a free two-night hotel stay for Hellacious, courtesy of Mason and the Gladstone. I think tonight’s meeting went very well.
Honestly, I cannot believe this thing is happening on Saturday. After all these months of planning, MOMENTS is finally here. It’s so exciting, but also completely terrifying. Nobody is allowed to know the latter, though. Only positive energy!
After my meeting with Mason, I met Bryan in the hotel lobby. The Drag Race viewing party was full, so we got a table in the restaurant and had dinner instead. Bryan’s friends couldn’t get a spot at the party either, so the two of them joined us. They were fun. I like meeting new people. I’m good at it. Not only that, but I always think it bumps up my likability factor when the guy I’m dating sees how great I can be with his friends.
After dinner, drinks, and about five-minutes of drag queens at the end of the night, Bryan and I drove back to our neighborhood. We ended up parking on the street outside of Bryan’s apartment again around 11 p.m., and stayed there until 3 a.m. I’m not joking. We were seriously there for four hours. All we did was listen to music and make out the entire time.
Things got a little rowdy pon de car. No clothes came off, but I was grinding on Bryan to the point where I thought he was going to come through his jeans. I actually had an inner monologue moment where I said to myself, “Damn, I’m good at this.” The only problem, however, was that for a lot of my time in the car, I was thinking of Logan. At least, at the beginning. I couldn’t shake the image of him whenever I closed my eyes. Fortunately, by the end of the night, most of those thoughts had subsided.
All visions of Logan aside, I enjoyed my time with Bryan tonight. Not just the grinding parts, either. Bryan is a really cool guy. Very relaxed, and very smart. It’s early, though. I don’t want to rush our relationship after how badly I was fucked over with the last one. I’m also not rushing on the sexual stuff. That’s why the clothes stayed on. It’s also why I didn’t simply go up to Bryan’s apartment when he asked if I wanted to. I can’t deal with another visit to the Hassle Free Clinic. Absolutely not.
I drove home and crawled into bed right away. This week feels like a mix of Halloween and Christmas with the amount of excitement and last-minute running around I’m doing for MOMENTS. The party is going to be amazing. I want the night to be so legendary that people will talk about it for the rest of time.
Goodnight xo
@yalittlenasty Instagram post from this afternoon.
I made this a few nights ago while I was taking a bath, and posted it today as a promotional post for MOMENTS.