I had really vivid dream last night that Logan was beside me in bed. So much so that when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I shut the door thinking he was in my bed. What’s wrong with me?

Applied to over 15 jobs during breakfast and got a bite. But, after I arranged an interview, I realized it was a scam so later I cancelled on them. Today I also had the worst interview I’ve ever had with that start-up company. It was horrible. I told the guy at the end of the call I didn’t even want the job. It was awkward, but also a bit of a wake-up call that I shouldn’t just be throwing my resume out to anything and everything. I’m going to try and be more selective.

Met with Ameena to talk about the LightWorks failure, and she’s going to continue to help me on the job front. Bless her. Hit the gym, then went to La Carnita randomly with the whole family for dinner and kind of gushed about Logan. I told them I wanted to marry him. Afterwards, they dropped me off at my apartment and I returned to my sadness.

I try to keep busy and I know I have a lot going on, but I still miss Logan. And it’s hard that he doesn’t talk. But, I get it. It becomes mundane. What are we going to talk about? I haven’t even told him I didn’t get the LightWorks job. Half of me is embarrassed, and the other half doesn’t want to come across as seeking pity. I just miss him. He wouldn’t even have to do anything here. He could sit on the couch and I would be happy. I really want to visit him. I have to get a job, though. I also applied for unemployment insurance today, so we’ll see how that goes.