More weird dreams.
This time, the family had just left Montreal. I ended up going to New York City, despite having to work at The Store the next day. I was going to call in sick. None of this was that surprising, considering this had been my plan in real life a couple of weeks ago. I was trying to find Wi-Fi so that I could rent an Airbnb for the night, and then stumbled upon another version of the Disney Store from last night’s dream. When I went to the front window, all of the characters from last night’s dream were there and barked at me to go away. That was jarring, to say the least.
Change of scene.
I ended up going to Travis Hartman’s apartment in Manhattan, which he was in the process of moving out of. This part of the dream was so creepy. I have never met this guy in real life. Travis is the guy from Instagram who I direct messaged while drunk a few weeks ago, and wanted to take out for drinks when I “visited for work.” We have not talked again since that single exchange.
Travis couldn’t go out for drinks, so I asked him if I could help with the packing for his move. Travis lived in his apartment alone, which, by the way, was located in a post-apocalyptic New York City. Most buildings were nothing more than concrete shells with holes where windows and apartments used to be.
Inside the unit, Travis had converted one of the bedrooms into a floor-to-ceiling, terrarium-type of display, which was filled with all of these expensive Walt Disney Collector’s Society figurines. There were also fully functioning water effects and running waterfalls, including an underwater section near the bottom of the terrarium, which had figurines from The Little Mermaid. Only my dreams would feature porcelain Princess Ariel collectables. Oy.
Travis wasn’t in a good mood. I helped him take hundreds of framed pictures off the walls, and organize them in another room of his apartment. During this time, we talked and got to know one another. I thought to myself, “I love him.” What the fuck, Kurt!
Change of scene.
I’m now at the DMV. I have to renew my driver’s license, as it’s set to expire. This is actually the case in real life, too. However, in my dream, I was told that I would need to take the entire written exam if I wanted a new license. I was given 30-minutes. As I looked through the test booklet, I realized that I didn’t know any of the answers. I wouldn’t be able to get my license.
Change of scene.
My phone rings. It’s Travis Hartman. He is calling to apologize for being in such a bad mood during our first meeting. Travis says he really likes me, and wants to make it up to me.
I wake up.
So, that happened.
I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, and then drove to The Store to process a shipment from 7 a.m. to 11 a.m. I barely said a word the whole time. Afterwards, I drove straight home to Casa Z.
After eating too much food and applying to some jobs, I took a nap against my better judgment. I woke up, ate more food, and still didn’t do much. I did, however, lay on my bed and scroll through both Logan and RX’s Instagram accounts for an embarrassing amount of time. Fortunately, neither account sent me into a shame spiral.
I miss them. Both Logan, and RX. Yet, I also think that I’m at a point where I don’t want to feel sorry for myself, or feel sad anymore. Fuck it. I’m over it. I’m also over Bryan. I didn’t text him once today, which was on par with the sharp decline in communication that has occurred over the past week or so.
To be honest, I think about moving back home a lot. Not only to save money, but also to remove myself from the downtown scene. However, I know that wouldn’t be a wise decision at the end of the day. I enjoy the fact that I can come here to Casa Z and escape when I need to. But, I also know that if I didn’t have my place downtown, I would be really unhappy. Eventually the job will happen, too. I’ll be in a different place. Mentally, I mean. I was just really fucking lazy today and didn’t want to do much. Later, I dragged my ass to the basement and spent way too much in the gym. Not because of exercise, though. I was watching clips of Mariah Carey on Watch What Happens Live. She’s so funny.
Last night’s dreams make sense. I’m not sure what to make of the fucked-up Disney characters yelling at me, but a part of me feels like the New York City moments are telling me that I should be there right now. Add into the mix that Mariah Carey is on a press junket there right now, and it’s clear that I missed my moment. Damn it.
I finished up in the gym, took a shower, and went to bed later than I should have, considering I have an interview with The Clubhouse tomorrow morning.
Apart from the Instagram lurking today, I was fairly disconnected from my phone. I enjoy that digital separation and isolation. In a weird way, I also find a bit of satisfaction when I don’t respond to messages. I don’t give a fuck anymore. Everybody just needs to shut the fuck up, and leave me alone.
God bless.
I love you, Jesus.
Amen.
Goodnight xo
“Mariah Carey on Watch What Happens Live” - YouTube