I slept in as long as I could this morning. Granted, that was only until, like, 8:30 a.m.
My foot hurts way more today. As I’m writing this close to 1 a.m., the pain is ten times worse than it was when I woke up. Fuck. It feels like I have a stump for a foot, and there’s a sharp pain in the right corner of that stump, which comes and goes. I haven’t put any pressure on my foot all day. It sort of just dangles off of my lifted leg as I put all of my weight on my left side and hop to wherever I need to go.
I finished a lot of writing this morning before I even left my room, which was a big accomplishment. Afterwards, I went downstairs, had some breakfast, watched Chelsea on Netflix, and decided it would be a perfect day to spend some time outside. After a popsicle or six, I lay by the pool in my underwear until about 4:30 p.m. I am now officially a different race. Or, maybe a member of the lobster species. I haven’t decided yet.
I was surprisingly social today. I ended up talking on the phone with Dylan from San Francisco for a very long time about a variety of subjects. The whole thing started when Dylan texted me this morning, asking if it would be weird of him to ask me for relationship advice. We had a nice chat, and it made me happy to know that we’ve been able to maintain communication. Dylan and I had some good times together. It’s nice to know that our friendship hasn’t been lost. I also talked to Naomi on the phone, and texted a ton of other friends as well. I was outside for a long time.
Mom and Dad had their friends Gabby and Myron over this evening to “pick up some oil.” In other words, they were grabbing some weed oil, which Dad gets from our neighbor, Bruce. The guy grows pot in his backyard and offers it up freely. I call it “Backyardigans.” Whether it’s in oil, edible, or nugget form, there’s always some Backyardigans to be found at Casa Z.
Gabby and Myron brought their three kids with them tonight. They ended up staying at the house from 7 p.m. until after 11 p.m., but I kept to my room for the better part of the evening. During that time, I applied to about five jobs and sent some emails to follow up on previous applications.
Speaking of weed, I have had such a craving for it all week. My hankering started a couple of days ago when I thought to myself, “I really want to get baked and forget about life while I’m recovering from my surgery.” Well, Phillip came home late tonight and showed me the new dispensary weed he got from a shop downtown. By the end of the night, I had smoked a bit of it with my pipe in my bathroom.
Almost immediately after I inhaled, I thought, “Fuck. This was a bad idea.” I wasn’t overly nervous or anything. In fact, I was quite functional and managed to keep my eating to a minimum. However, I’m now lying in my bed with that all too familiar slug feeling. I feel like a blob. I’m so drained. This is what I hate about weed. It’s fun for a short amount of time, but then the haze lingers over me like an overcast day until I go to bed and sleep it off. Even then, the grog can often hang around until the next morning. That’s always how it goes with weed, though.
I just caught myself about to write, “I don’t think I’ll be sparking up again any time soon.”
I feel crappy about having smoked right now. But, by the time tomorrow night rolls around, I’ll likely have forgotten this feeling and will think blazing again is a fantastic idea. Tomorrow would have been about four weeks without weed. I’m proud of that abstinence. I hope I can continue it.
I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Incredibles, and Where to Invade Next today, the latter of which was with Phillip as we hid from our visitors. My foot hurts like hell. I’m really looking forward to passing out and being (slightly less) lazy tomorrow.
Goodnight xo
One of the many banana popsicles consumed today. Backyard, Casa Z