Much like another RX I know, this hurricane was extremely disappointing. He got me all worked up, disrupted my life, and then didn’t even follow through. Wait. I can’t tell if I’m talking about the hurricane or my ex-boyfriend anymore. Oh, well. At this point, both seem to be fairly forgettable.
Hurricane RX was a joke. Obviously, things were worse along the coast. However, Orlando didn’t experience anything but some wind and rain slightly stronger than a regular storm. Having lived in Florida during the summer months, I’ve definitely experienced worse weather. It’s a blessing that there wasn’t total carnage, but Walt Disney World and the surrounding area had become a complete ghost town in preparation for this non-event.
With the entire property shut down, today was a bit of a write-off. The family hit the hotel gym together, and then we all went to Disney’s Wilderness Lodge for lunch at Whispering Canyon Cafe once it re-opened in the later afternoon. Our meal was good, although my stomach hurt from eating too much. Typical for Disney food, I suppose.
Following lunch, we proceeded to drive aimlessly around Orlando and Walt Disney World for the next few hours trying to see what was open. Well, nothing was. I fell asleep in the car. It was around 6:30 p.m. by the time we got back to the hotel. With nothing else to do, I watched Beauty & the Beast on my laptop. That’s around the time all hell broke loose.
The hotel room phone rang. Dad took the call. It ended up being a timeshare company, offering us a “free” breakfast at our resort if we agreed to watch a presentation tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. They would also throw in a “free” seven-day vacation. Dad accepted the invitation, and signed us up. Keep in mind that we are also set to visit Universal Studios at the same time tomorrow morning.
Well, Mom completely lost it. Naturally, I took her side. Mom is often the voice of reason in the family. If Mom has an issue with something, you know it’s bad. Dad and Phillip just couldn’t – or perhaps wouldn’t – understand why accepting that breakfast was an issue. Clearly, they’ve both forgotten how a timeshare sales pitch works. I mean, come on. You’ve got to be kidding me. Not only do I remember the painful eight hours I spent waiting for Mom and Dad in West Palm Beach as they signed up for their first timeshare, but I also know that nobody is given a free seven-day vacation because they went to a breakfast. I think the worst part had to have been Dad’s reasoning.
“I don’t live life as negatively as you,” he said.
The argument was bad. Dad and Phillip literally just sat on the couch and called Mom and I both idiots for thinking that this could be a scam.
Eventually, the four of us came to an agreement. We would attend the breakfast, but were not staying for any potential sales pitches. Still, the argument was very ugly. The entire experience left me sitting in my room on the verge of tears. Once again, I had been subjected to my parents fighting like that. These types of arguments have happened during every family vacation we’ve ever taken. They have such a negative effect on me.
Phillip never seems to be fazed by any of this. In fact, Phillip hardly seems to be fazed by anything that happens in this family. I don’t understand how he can sit by and just – coast. Phillip says whatever he wants without thinking things through or putting in the slightest bit of planning or research, despite the amount of time, effort, or money it might involve on someone else’s behalf. Everything is always handed to Phillip.
Of course, in this instance, I am talking about the Universal Studios tickets that Mom and Dad shelled out $450 USD for, simply because Phillip said that he wanted to go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Meanwhile, everyone else did the research and purchasing while he sat back and watched TV. I don’t get it. Phillip is becoming so much like Dad in so many ways. After this evening’s argument, it’s beginning to bother me to the point that I resent him. Phillip is argumentative and pretentious when it comes to just about everything. God forbid you happen to have a passion of your own that doesn’t fit into Phillip’s handmade, eco-vintage throwback, organic Instagram indie filter. I feel like if I share my interests with my brother, I’ll be judged. So, what’s the point?
My interests and passions are my own. I’m not trying to fit into an image that I think I am supposed to subscribe to, or that is “on brand” for myself. I never have. Perhaps that’s why I end up on the outside so often. Regardless, I don’t ever want to follow someone or something because I think it will improve my “image” – as if I even have one to begin with. If I want to wear my shorts this short, I will. If I want to watch Legally Blonde or The Little Mermaid for the 700th time, I will. Maybe a part of me worries about Phillip, too. I don’t know if some of these things are a phase, or if I’ve really just lost touch with who my brother has become. I guess we’ll find out in time.
Once the heat from the argument had cooled down, I talked with Mom privately and urged her to just let things go. We had committed Dad and Phillip to a plan, and could move on from there. Said “plan” is that we are going to attend the breakfast at 8 a.m., get our “free” vacation, and then leave by 8:45 a.m. As if you’re going to get your plate of pancakes with a side of a seven-day vacation. Whatever. If that’s what Dad and Phillip want to believe, then so be it.
We drove out to Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort in hopes of going to the new Trader Sam’s tiki bar, but of course it was closed. After that, we went to Disney’s Boardwalk where everything was shuttered as well. Fuck off, RX. I say that, and it’s partly in jest. I can’t pass up the opportunity to call out the ridiculous irony of “Hurricane RX” impacting my Florida vacation. At the same time, sometimes I’ll see certain spots on property and think of something RX and I used to do here together.
I’ll be honest. The memory of RX does make me quite sad. For example, when the family walked around Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort tonight. I remembered when me and RX used to drive out to the resort late at night when we first started dating. Nobody was around, and we would lay together in the hammocks underneath the stars, talking about life and getting to know one another in those early days. It sucks that time has a way of making you forget all of those moments – replacing a lot of the good times with the negative memories that we’ve made since we broke up. It’s sad.
I do miss RX. Every time I come here I miss him. But, I miss the RX from those specific moments. Unfortunately, the RX that’s back home isn’t the boy I met down here. I suppose the same could be said for myself, but so much of me wonders if RX ever thinks of me the way I think of him. Given the lack of initiative on his end after our most recent encounter this summer, I would argue that he doesn’t. If I could have the old RX back and lay underneath the stars in that hammock again, I would do it in a heartbeat. I miss him. So much.
After our unsuccessful jaunt around Disney property, we returned to the hotel and watched a TV show with a few snacks. I was still full from lunch, and haven’t had much of a thirst for alcohol lately. I had a few glasses of wine before we went out earlier, but I’m weary of drinking these days. Alcohol leaves me feeling more bloated than anything. Truth be told, there isn’t much of a payoff for me when it comes to drinking in moderation. Instead, I’ll sit back with my water and relax. That is, until Phillip breaks out his laptop and wants to put on Documentary NOW in the living room. I take that as my cue to exit stage left, and start getting ready for bed.
I mean, come on. Before we left for Trader Sam’s – you know, when Dad and Phillip were watching TV for two hours – Phillip had a documentary about rug making on the TV.
Rug. Making.
That’s the fucking limit. The difference between us, and with what I was talking about before, is that I’m not going to be vocal about my distaste for that fucking bullshit. This is my journal. This is my safe space. In the real world, I’m not going to pop off on a rant about Phillip’s interests. That’s the difference between the two of us. I’ll sit back silently, and let my brother play his music in the car for four hours. However, the minute I play more than one Mariah Carey song, Phillip is sounding off about how “it’s garbage” and all I listen to – as if he’s familiar with my iTunes library. Leave me alone!
Okay. I think that’s enough negativity and emotion for one night. I love Phillip. I love my entire family. I really do. Yet, sometimes these vacations require a little extra journal therapy to punch out my feelings, which I do at about 150 words per minute.
Goodnight to all. We will see how tomorrow’s breakfast goes, along with our day at Universal Studios. Hmm. I wonder where we will take our “free” seven-day vacation. You know Mom and I are just going to be rolling our eyes across the table the entire time. Should be interesting.
Goodnight xo
“Underneath the Stars” - Mariah Carey