I am completely exhausted. My entire body feels disgusting. Even tucking my shirt in for work this morning was a humiliating experience. I hate my body.

Today was definitely the kind of day where all I wanted more than anything was to quit my job, move out of my apartment, and skip town forever. I think it might have something to do with my hangover. I’ve had these same thoughts about all the jobs I’ve ever had when I’m recovering from a binge. Whatever. It’s how I feel.

I worked the front desk from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. It was bearable, but by no means pleasant.

After walking home from work, I ate food in bed, got extremely stoned, masturbated, and fell asleep around 6:30 p.m. I couldn’t stay awake for one second longer. Basically, my day was: get up, go to work, come home, and sleep. For that reason, there’s not exactly much to talk about tonight.

On a more positive note, I will add that Montreal was a really great trip. I mean, the bachelorette completely ruined me, but it also took me by surprise in the best of ways. Forgetting about yesterday’s hungover car ride home from hell, last weekend was like an all-female Pride. Except, instead of honoring LGBTQ, we were celebrating our pride in Kate. All of the bridesmaids wanted the same thing for Kate, which was to make sure she had the best time possible. Unlike Adam’s bachelor trip to Cuba, which apparently saw a lot of petty bickering, our trip was nothing but love for everyone in the group. Even though some of the girls didn’t know one another at first, we all got along so well. I think that’s because everyone all had the same goal in mind – we just wanted to have fun with Kate.

This past weekend was also one of those moments where I could appreciate things as they were and respect what was happening, despite not wanting any of it for myself. Listen. I don’t know what it’s going to be like if/when I get married. I could end up having all of that, or I could go the complete opposite direction, which I probably will. Either way, when you love someone as much as I love Kate, what you want doesn’t matter. The weekend was about honoring Kate, and that’s what we did. It was great.

Goodnight xo