Today was crazy. The good kind of crazy, though. Still, it knocked me flat on my ass.
Knowing I had a very busy day ahead of me, I woke up super early so I could get in a full workout at the gym. Mission accomplished. After that, I took the subway home, picked up a case of beer and some staples across the street, and then returned to the Witch Cave to shower and get dressed.
The main event of the day was to plaster the city with my freshly printed MOMENTS posters. That was a big undertaking, though, so I asked Dan, Connor, Alison and Kyle if they would come over to the Witch Cave and help me out. That’s who the beer was for. Well, beer, candy, and weed. What can I say? I’m a good host. It was also my way of thanking them, as I really appreciated the help. I love those kids.
Side note: I’m hoping that Phillip doesn’t get pissed off about the fact that I spent the day with Alison. I mean, I asked Phillip about the whole “hanging out with your ex” thing months ago, and he told me that he was fine with it. I don’t think there will be a problem. Still, it’s just such a grey area with them being exes. At the same time, Alison and I have our own friendship, independent of Phillip, especially now that she’s living with Kyle. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. Sometimes I feel guilty. Should I? It’s not like Phillip was jumping up to help me today.
The five of us drank, blazed, sucked on Ring Pops, and watched Mariah Carey music videos for about an hour at the Witch Cave. After that, we hit the streets and started postering. It was fun! We covered all of Church Street and Queen Street West, and then stopped for a McDonald’s moment. We were all baked and really needed some ice cream. Alison and Kyle went home after our dairy moment, and Connor left shortly after them. Dan and I continued walking and stapling until we reached the Gladstone Hotel, and he took a streetcar home from there.
To get some more exercise in – and save money by avoiding transit – I walked the entire way back to the Witch Cave. I’m glad I did. During that trek, I noticed that all of my fucking posters were taken down! Like, not just covered up by other people’s ads – they were completely removed. I’m hoping that doesn’t mean anything. Hmm. I traced my tracks, re-postering the same spots as my feet bled out from all the walking. When I finally made it back to the Witch Cave after my 15km day pon de streets, I took a much-needed nap. I also took a bath.
Preston Mackenzie was hosting himself a birthday party at his place in the west end tonight and asked me to stop by. I love a good birthday party, so I was happy to receive the invite. After my bath, I got myself ready and made the journey to Preston’s place, which was essentially back at the Gladstone Hotel. I was one of the first people there, but that didn’t stop the alcohol from flowing right away.
With my standard gin and water in hand, I caught up with Preston’s roommate, Jacob. We’ve met many times before, but have never really had a one-on-one. It was nice to get to know him a little better. We ended up getting along really well all night, actually. I’m talking, like, friendly to the point that Jacob was offering me coke throughout the evening. We did bumps off my house keys in his bedroom. I drank a lot too, but managed to stay in control. That was really important to me. I’m sure the pixie dust had something to do with that balancing act, though.
I was pimping out MOMENTS hardcore to every guy I talked to tonight. I also gave Preston a poster as his birthday card, and he put it up in his living room. I continued socializing with a lot of people throughout the very large apartment, drank more gin, did a line in Preston’s room, drank water, and then ran out of gin, so I switched to dark rum and water. Ew.
By the way, I think I saw maybe one girl all night. This was a very gay party, which is exactly how I like my social events. I don’t need to be sifting through heterosexuals to find out who might be available for flirting with. Speaking of which, I hit it off pretty well with a guy at the party. His name was Michael. I sat beside him on the living room couch, and we talked about random stuff for a while. I was flirting with him quite heavily.
I left Michael in the living room so I could fix myself another drink. I was thirsty, in more ways than one. As I was mixing my dark rum and water – again, ew – another guy I had recently been lurking on Instagram walked into the kitchen. His name was Raphael. I knew Raphael was coming to the party, because I saw his RSVP on the Facebook event page. I was really looking forward to meeting this guy. Tall, dark, bearded, handsome, and beefy as all hell. I introduced myself, we had a friendly exchange, and then Raphael began to make his way through the apartment. I wasn’t far behind.
Well, fuck me! With my nasty drink in hand, I strutted back into the living room. What did I see upon arrival? Michael and Raphael making out on the couch! It hadn’t even been five fucking minutes, and I managed to lose both of my crushes to one another. Goddamn it! Tale as old as friggin’ time. Whatever. Easy come, easy go. I still had such a great night.
A few other friends were nearby at the monthly Business Woman’s Special party in Kensington Market. I had initially planned on splitting my evening between Preston’s birthday and the club, but when I finally looked at the clock, it was around 1:30 a.m. so obviously I didn’t end up going. I was having such a great time at Preston’s that I didn’t even notice how late it was. The night was far from over, though.
Out of the blue, I received a message from Tito. Oddly enough, he had been around for corner from Preston’s all night. When Tito said that he was leaving the party he was at, I asked him for a ride home. He said yes, and I began to say my goodbyes. Well, it took me so damn long to get out of Preston’s apartment that by the time I made it outside and into Tito’s car, he said it was too late for him to drive me home. Apparently, he was out of time. Time for what? I don’t know. I can’t remember.
Tito and I talked for a while in his car, but I only remember about half of what I said to him. I was fully coherent, and I remember being very present in the moment, but I was definitely uninhibited. When that happens, I end up talking so fast that my brain can’t register everything that’s coming out of my mouth. Sort of like when my fingers can’t keep up with my thought process as I’m typing out a journal entry like this one.
One thing from my conversation with Tito that I definitely remember, however, is that I apologized for what had happened with him last year. I’m talking about the night at Woody’s where I spent a long time talking and flirting with him at the back of the bar. Remember? He bought me a drink, we kissed, and after I told him I was going home, he caught me at the front of the bar making out with another guy. I’ll never forget that drunken text exchange, either:
Tito: “Didn’t even wait 5 minutes to make out with the next man, eh?”
Kurt: “I felt bad. His mom just died.”
Oy. Messy. That was last April, and I had felt bad about it ever since. Tito and I also never really talked about the whole thing, so I took advantage of my liquid courage tonight and owned up to my mistake while sitting in his passenger seat. Apparently, this whole time Tito thought it was “payback” for how he had treated me a few months before that with his own flighty behavior. But, that wasn’t what it was about at all. I was just majorly fucked up that night. Yeesh.
After clearing the air on all of that, Tito and I made out. A lot. Fuck. This is not going to end well. I already know it. Anyway, because Tito couldn’t/wouldn’t drive me home, he handed me $20 so I could take a cab back to my place. I don’t like taking money from guys like that. I don’t like feeling indebted to people. After Tito refused to take back the bill, I slipped it in his cup holder as I said goodnight, and then got out of the car.
Instead of taking a cab or an Uber like a normal person, I walked home. Actually, I ran home. I’m not kidding. I was in the west end and jogged my drunk ass back to the Witch Cave in the Village. That’s fucking far! Good exercise, I suppose. Plus, I saved money. I also smoked a joint along the way. I got home after 5 a.m. and immediately crawled into bed.
No word from Logan today.
Oh, and while we’re listing every recent encounter with men in my life, I keep forgetting to mention this one. I think I wrote a while ago that RX contacted me with a text about Sabrina the Teenage Witch, right? Well, the other day when I was at DigiPrint for that Toronto Fashion Week training shift, I noticed that DigiPrint’s parent company, RenderXone, had “RX” as their logo. I snapped a picture and sent it to RX. Naturally, that sparked another very short-lived conversation with him. The exchange ended with RX asking me about my MOMENTS event, and me following up with a link to the Facebook page. There’s been no word from him ever since. Why do I even bother with RX anymore?
Why do I bother with anyone anymore? Like, am I seriously never going to hear from Logan again? At first, it was really upsetting. But, now it’s sort of like, “Wait. What? Is this for fucking real? It’s just OVER?” I don’t understand what is happening right now.
Goodnight xo
Someone must know that the Witch in Apartment 56 likes to get a little nasty. Witch Cave, Toronto
Posing with my first MOMENTS poster. A very proud moment, indeed. Church-Wellesley Village, Toronto
In an attempt to advertise the event to a couple hundred people, I filmed a series of short videos for a Snapchat story. Church-Wellesley Village, Toronto
Another one! In hindsight, we should have stapled them higher. But, I didn’t want to be the asshole who covered up someone else’s poster. Queen Street West, Toronto
Backtracking. Queen Street West, Toronto
Having a solo moment. Queen Street West, Toronto
I told you I was thirsty. I love this song. It’s from one of my favorite Mariah albums, Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse.
"Thirsty" - Mariah Carey
Having another moment, apparently. I don’t remember this one. Church-Wellesley Village, Toronto
"Hero" - Mariah Carey
@yalittlenasty Instagram post from very late tonight.
Despite getting home after 5 a.m., I still managed to find the time to post an Instagram video. I am so awkward at parties sometimes. I think that’s often why I drink a lot. It helps get me out of my head.